Equipped: +20 Armor Class

I hope you packed your Giant’s Wallet.

Usually when we’re trying to help you get Equipped we’re all about things you could potentially afford. But I have to tell you, after I found some of the stuff in this week’s post, if I had the money I’d be buying with a single mouse click that would be so fast it would reverberate back in time to when awesomeness was invented, and basically give that guy a nice reminder of what he has done. Okay, so that didn’t make sense, but you get the idea. On to the swag.

Modern Assassin Jacket

Let’s say it’s 1476 and you’re strolling down the street in your stylish new Assassin’s garb, shining beautifully white yet somehow it is easily lost in a crowd. Sweet right? Well, it’s not 1476. In fact it’s almost 240 years later, and those white cloaks aren’t going to cut it while wandering through downtown New York City, on your campus in the depths of Boston, or while strolling up and down Beverly Hills. What you need good sir or madam is the modern version of this garb, something that will allow you to make your way through crowds completely unnoticed and unidentified. Once you place this Modern Assassin Jacket on your shoulders, you might as well call it an invisibility cloak.

Okay, so that’s not really true, but this is one of the coolest jackets you’ll ever see based on a video game character’s garb. To make it even cooler, you can request your own colors, and whether or not it’s lined ($350) or unlined ($240).

$240-$350 @ [Volante Design]

Speed Racer Jacket

Everyone needs a driving jacket. As the weather gets warmer and you find yourself riding around in a convertable of some sort, you’ll realize that the wind could actually make things a bit chillier. You don’t want to grab an ordinary jacket or a windbreaker. No one looks cool driving or riding around like that. Hence why everyone needs a driving jacket. But not just any driving jacket. You need one that speaks to your need for speed. One that makes you look fast even when you’re sitting still. One that will make people say “Who do you think you are? Speed Racer?” And then you can answer “Yes, yes I am.” Then turn and walk away. Or if you’re driving, just step on the gas.

I’m not sure how many of you will be getting into these situations any time soon, but if you do, you may want this kick ass Speed Racer jacket. Like the Modern Assassin, you can choose your color scheme, but honestly I’d just stick with the Speed Racer blue. $250 for economy and $300 for deluxe.

$250-$300 @ [Volante Design]

Captain America Jacket

America. Land of the free and home of the brave. Also the home to one Captain Steve Rogers, or as many know him, Captain America. With The Avengers hitting American shores next Friday it’s about time to show off your comic book hero pride, but why not kill two birds with one kick ass jacket by showing your pride for your country as well. Hell, if it’s good enough for Captain America, it’s good enough for you, right ladies? That’s right, I’m looking at you for this one, because I think this would look great on you. This Captain America jacket says that you love America and “back off, I’m a super soldier” all in one. Who says there wasn’t a lady version of Cap in some alternate universe? Science says it’s possible, so why couldn’t it be you?

This Captain America themed jacket comes with three pockets, two outside, one inside, and is made to your measurements. Dressed like a comic book hero, and looking fine doing it. Sounds like a perfect fit.

$395 @ [Volante Design]

Bonus: Voice Authenticating USB Drive

For the rest of you who don’t have a load of cash to spend on some awesome jackets, here’s this week’s bonus item: the world’s only voice authenticating USB drive. Need to store 8 GB of encrypted data or incriminated photos? This little drive is perfect for securing such sensitive materials, because it only opens to the sound of your voice. Plug it in, say your password, and viola, instant access to your files. I just hope you don’t have a twin or a doppleganger.

$49.99 @ [Hammacher Schlemmer]

If I had the money, I would totally buy the Speed Racer Jacket. Volante also has more Assassin gear, such as a pretty sweet looking [hoodie] you might want to check out. I’d definitely grab that one too. So, if you’ve got a Giant’s Wallet full to the brim, you now know what you need to do to get Equipped.