Michael Bay Wants You To Calm Down

Particularly in reference to the Ninja Turtles script.

Earlier this week the alleged script for the new Ninja Turtles movie was leaked onto the worldwide web (people still call it that right?). The script featured a lot of things that would upset any fan of the classic TMNT, hell even fans of the live-action movie. Swearing, jokes that were mocking racial stereotypes, very intense and nearly impossible looks passing between lovers. The excerpts from the script seemed to focus more on Casey Jones than the Turtles, and that’s is just a minor hiccup compared to the rest of it. And of course this whole time people are pointing at it and addressing the script as “Michael Bay’s Ninja Turtles” script and such, but old Bay won’t be having that.

On his personal website he addressed all the angry fans who’ve found their way to this leaked script saying:

The leaked script for Ninja Turtles that different sites continue to comment on was written well before I, or anyone at Platinum Dunes, was involved with the project.

That script saw the shredder a long time ago.

This is tired, old news — Wait for the movie!

First off, he totally should have capitalized shredder to lighten this post. Second, okay, I get that this wasn’t your doing Michael Bay, and hopefully the script you and Platinum Dunes put together will be better so I will calm down in reference to your name being thrown in front of the word “script”. But for me there is something more important here.

<rant>THE SCRIPT EXISTED ALREADY. Why the hell did this even get written in the first place? This is what terrifies me about Hollywood, when people who try to reboot a series (which we need to stop doing in the first place) dive in to write a script and clearly don’t understand what it’s all about. They try to put a spin on it that just doesn’t work. TEENAGE MUTANT Ninja Turtles is all about them, the mutant turtles, learning how to deal with their skills, protect New York, and eat pizza, but this script is more about Casey who’s having a rough time and stumbles into this whole “mutant” ninja turtle thing. Yes, there should be struggle, and something for people to relate to, and I suppose you think that we can only relate to humans and not mutated teenage reptiles? Wrong. As moviegoers we can sympathize with anything as long as it’s written well and in a manner that conveys convincing emotion, which is on the actors, writers, and directors. But for now, it’s all on you writing team, because if you can’t come up with a convincing story that fits into the world of TMNT with the focus being Michelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello, and Raphael (and Splinter too), then I don’t want to see it, and others won’t either.</rant>

Hey Bay, while you’re working on the script, maybe throw Vanilla Ice some work. I’m sure he’d like to come back and write another rap song about ninjas and/or turtles.